Thursday, 16 March 2017

Employee Of The Month

Mr Mason's mad, he found Satan in his Tesco shopping bag,
The Prince of Darkness by the milk and lemonade,
Watch out Beelzebub, that bag will bio-degrade,
Bio-degrade, like a slow motion hand-grenade.

They don't give you club-card points for that,
Not for horns and pitchforks,
You'll be picking bits of plastic up for weeks,
Then you'll really know what hell is.

Mr Mason's mad, milk is curdled, lemonade bad,
Customer Services, you're in for an epic fail,
The devil in a shopping bag can't be explained away,
And you only started in the job yesterday.

They don't give you any training for that,
Not for fire and brimstone,
You'll be on the phone to the helpline for weeks,
Then you'll really know what hell is.

Mr Mason's mad; he'll never shop here again,
Look sonshine don't you know he's fought in ten world-wars,
And as he storms away, shouting out the odds,
You think: Satan isn't the only red-faced bastard in here.

They don't give you any prizes for that,
Not for hue and cry,
Now you'll never be employee of the month,
Then you'll really know what hell is.

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